I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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