fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize