yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
