Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
