DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
