he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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