sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I need moral support for this bender
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
COCAINE IS GR8
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
