We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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