Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
