i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
