hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
