butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
