I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
