What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize