remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
