He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
