How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I enjoy the company of your penis
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
