so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
