It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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