He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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