no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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