there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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