I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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