drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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