Do you still have your period?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize