Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
