Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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