I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
