Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
