Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize