And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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