What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
