My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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