Got a toothbrush?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
