the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
