My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
pop tarts are not kleenex
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize