VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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