Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
