i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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