Cold hands, warm shart.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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