I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
