...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize