How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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