I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
