The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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