Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
