I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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