"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
