your thong is hanging out like whoa
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
