I am in a vortex of obligation.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
