Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
