And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
