pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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