it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
