Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
