Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize