Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
