they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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