Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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