you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
