i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
