I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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