I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
