Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
