I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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