he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
